Review: Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Review by the Disgruntled Monkey

Directors: Malcolm D. Lee and David Zucker (uncredited)
Starring: Simon Rex, Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen
Writers: David Zucker, Pat Proft

"Gee Dan. Watching another parody movie. Why do you even bother? You know they're going to suck."

I can almost hear this in my head as I write. Which is rather scary cause that not only means I have voices in my head, but that they aren't that much different to me. But back to the point. I hear this in my head, and I tell those voice that sometimes you can find gold in the most unexpected places.

So is Scary Movie 5 a hidden gem? Oh hell no. It's rife with the same old problems that most of the current parody movies have. References used instead of jokes, jokes having nothing to do with the actual plot of the movie, jokes appealing to the lowest common denominator and finally when it get's a good joke it runs it into the ground.

However in the interest in being fair I'll highlight some of the positives. First I laughed twice at some throw away jokes. That's an improvement. Ashley Tisdale is pretty good as the lead, shame she has no real material to work with. Finally there is a scene parodying Evil Dead that is actually pretty damn funny. If you can find a way to watch that scene I would as I genuinely perked up and payed attention. It helps that the scene has four very capable teen actors (Tyler Posey, Sarah Hyland, Bow Wow and Katrina Bowden). Oh and the movie has a small part for Terry Crews which is always appreciated.

I kind of remember the original Scary Movies actually making fun of the horror conventions. Now the movies are just referenced with some fart jokes added. It's a depressing decline but also impressive in it's scope. This is far from the worst parody movie I have watched, but this is still not good. If only there was a way to watch that Evil Dead scene without all this surrounding crap.

Category	Rating	Reason
Entertainment	0.5 Sheens out of 1	The Evil Dead scene get's at least half a point.
Script	0 Sheens out of 1	I'm not sure if there is a script for this movie.
Acting	0.5 Sheens out of 1	Ashley Tisdale is a good replacement for Faris.
Directing	0 Sheens out of 1	This film has no direction.
Technical	0 Sheens out of 1	Cheap and nasty.
Overall	1 Sheends out of 5	There are things that are good. But never anything to justify watching this movie.