Review: Paranormal Entity (2009)
Director: Shane Van Dyke
Starring: Shane Van Dyke, Erin Marie Hogan and Fia Perera
Writer: Shane Van Dyke
From the makers of such classics as Snakes on a Train,
Princess of Mars and Almighty Thor, comes the next in a long line of straight
to video movies trying to cash in on the name of more successful films. Now
being a fan of the Paranormal Activity movies (just take a look at my reviews),
you would think that I am about to curse this movies existence. Well you would
be wrong, dead wrong.
See I don’t know how many times I've told people that I
really enjoy the Paranormal Activity movies and then been yelled at for my
taste in movies. “Those movies have no talent behind them,” and “Anyone could
make those movies,” are the common comments. How ever now that I have seen
Paranormal Entity, I have a movie to show them, that is basically Paranormal
Activity without any talent what so ever.
From cover, to set up, to general premise, this movie wants
to be Paranormal Activity (hereby dubbed P.A) so bad. Some could point out that
this movie doesn’t have the studio money like P.A, and yet that’s a load of
crap. P.A was made for $15 000, and while it’s not the greatest there is
definite tension built, characters that appear more than stock cut outs, and
some talent when it comes to what is shown and how the haunting’s are pulled
off.
Yes, stick your tongue out more. More tongue means more dead. |
Paranormal Entity is a movie where not a whole heck of a lot
happens, and when something does it’s normally off camera. The big show down
that this movie is building up to isn’t even shown. Good damn it movie even the
absolutely terrible Documenting the Grey Man had some pay off, even if it was
horrid. This movie reeks of laziness and even goes so far to give us nudity to
spice things up. It isn’t called for, isn’t effective, and made me feel really
sorry for the actress.
I will give Asylum one thing. It is capable of making movies
that are enjoyable with a group of friends and large amounts of alcohol. This
movie even fails at this; there is no enjoyment to find as nothing ever
happens. I’m not sure if I can go on more about this movie, so just avoid this
wretched piece of crap, but be warned. Give Paranormal Activity a bad name, and
I will make you watch this, it’s the only way you’re going to learn.
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