Quick Movie Reviews: Vol 11

The other day I was thinking about the whole so bad its good movie, you know the type of movies like Sharktopus etc. I used to be a fan of them but I must be reaching my limit as I’m sick to death of them. Or at least I think I’ve come to an understanding that I can’t stand watching these movies and I’m more amused by the people who do the reviews for them. In truth there is no such thing as a so bad it’s good movie. It’s a bad movie that has inspired a separate awesome parody/performance/street theatre. Well maybe not the last one. Anyway that’s a quick thought for this volume. On to the movies.

The Room (2003)

This is really what got me thinking about the so bad its good movie. I went to the theatre to watch this, and probably had one of the best times I’ve ever had at the theatre barring maybe watching The Aristocrats. All enjoyment derived from this experience was watching it with my girl, my good friends and an awesome crowd. The movie is as bad as you’ve probably heard. But here is the big thing; there is no enjoyment to be had in watching this movie by your self. You are not going to laugh at the ineptitude, and while a chuckle might happen thanks to the acting, the movie is so slow and laboured that you will want to claw your eyes out and join Sam Neil in hell. If you are going to the theatre to see this film, do so. You’ll play gridiron, chuck spoons at the screen and try and come up with witty one liners. Mine was saying Johnny was a ‘Naval Officer,’ and trust me unless you’ve watched the movie you won’t get that.

Category	Rating	Reason
Entertainment	0 footballs out of 1	This is a bad movie.
Script	0 footballs out of 1	This is a really bad movie.
Acting	0 footballs out of 1	This is really a very bad movie.
Directing	0 footballs out of 1	This is positively one of the very worst movies.
Technical	0 footballs out of 1	This is absolutely the worst movie ever made.
Overall	0 footballs out of 5	Just read the above.

Splice (2009)

I really wanted to like Splice, and in some regards I did. I managed to walk away from it more positive than negative. However there are some serious issues I had with the movie that did disappoint me. First off the movie supports a fine cast of douchebags. If we were supposed to be sympathetic towards Dren (the genetically splice creature), then maybe I can see the point of making the humans bad people, but it turns monster movie on us and I stopped caring cause I just wanted everyone to die and get to the end. There are some interesting themes that get explored, and I did dig the creature design of Dren, even if the animal characteristics she had sometimes got a little stupid. It’s really a hard movie to recommend to people, but if you like science fiction I can think of worse movies.

Category	Rating	Reason
Entertainment	1 mutant out of 1	Themes and ideas are raised that are damn thought provoking.
Script	0 mutants out of 1	Slightly schizophrenic in what type of movie it is.
Acting	0 mutants out of 1	I just did not care for any of the people in this movie.
Directing	0.5 mutants out of 1	Competent but nothing special.
Technical	1 mutant out of 1	The design of Dren is amazing.
Overall	2.5 mutants out of 5	Nice ideas and wonderful visuals can not save this movie.

9 (2009)

9 is an animated movie about rag doll like beings, which are made by a scientist, to be something good in a devastated world devoid of humans. Dark and depressing at times this is the kind of childhood movie I remember watching when I was young. It doesn’t pander to children, it doesn’t paint a pretty world, yet it teaches valuable things like hope. Sometimes the darker the picture the greater the message is. The movie is also visually stunning, and I seriously want this in my collection so I can watch this along with my Pixar movies, because it’s of that calibre. The only minor complaint is that the script sometimes feels like its rushing. But that could be that I just wanted more from this movie. Tip of the hat to Shane Acker who was both director and writer. Oh and the voice work is killer, with the likes of Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau, John C Reilly, Crispin Glover, Jennifer Connelly and Elijah Wood. Get this movie and watch it.

Category	Rating	Reason
Entertainment	1 ragdoll out of 1	One of the better animated movies.
Script	0 ragdolls out of 1	Seems to rush through it's story.
Acting	1 ragdoll out of 1	Voice acting is A+.
Directing	1 ragdoll out of 1	Strong visual sense and well put together scenes
Technical	1 ragdoll out of 1	Beautiful looking movie.
Overall	4 ragdolls out of 5	Dark, strong and beautiful animated movie.